Tanner is such a fun little one to write about! He gives me new memories every week that I can’t stand to ever forget – thus this journal. Twenty years ago, these writings will only be significant to mamma but I am so glad I am doing this (and yes yes yes Jennifer C. – you need to start one. Follow Heidi’s suggestion:)
Last week Tanner and I went to our routine dentist appointment. Turns out, Tanner has a few cavities…sigh. We figured this was going to be a probability because having weak teeth is in his genes (another reason for loving open adoption – you get much needed info). Because Jim and I knew he was at risk for this, we have been committed to his teeth brushing and 6 month cleanings since he was 2 to try to ward off as many casualties as possible .
When we left the dentist I was advised to call a pediatric dentist to deal with this issue. I have not done that yet because I don’t have our new insurance cards in. In the meantime, Tanner was waking up last week during the night crying because his “tooth hurt”. I am assuming that the cleaning aggravated it. Last Wednesday Tanner was crying during the day time too and I told him I was going to call his dentist and ask what we should do for the pain. Tanner did not like the sound of that!
Later that day I was at the chiropractors office and Tanner found a Berenstein bear book to read in the lobby. It was about brother bear going to the dentist! How appropriate! In this book, brother bear has a cavity and sister bear has a loose tooth. Brother is explaining all about the tooth fairy to sister and he tells her that if she loses her tooth the tooth fairy will take her tooth from beneath her pillow and replace it with money. He also advised her to make sure and tell mama bear to call the tooth fairy if she lost the tooth.
That evening Tanner convinced Jim to use the new toothbrush for brushing his teeth. (This was the toothbrush I had bought for Ty but apparently Tanner shanghied). Afterwards, Tanner came into my room and said quite seriously, “Mommy! Don’t call the tooth fairy!! Daddy used new toothbrush. My teeth all clean. They don’t hurt!!! Don’t call the tooth fairy!!!
I laughed so hard! Crisis averted I guess. For the moment, we don’t need to enact the apparent Tooth Fairy disaster plan. Tanner is in no hurry for the cash reward. LOL.
Beautiful Maturity of Conscience
Last week Tanner and I were at the church during the week because Jodi and I were painting our class room. Tanner found a bottle full of tiny animals and had been playing with them. When it was time to go, I saw him sitting in the doorframe with his head nestled in his hands on his knees. He was lost in very serious contemplative thought. While looking straight ahead still doing his mental figuring he said “Mommy. Should I take the animals home?…….long pause…..Or not?”
Here is what I loved about this statement. First, here is what was really going on in that little red head. “On the one hand the animals do not belong to me and belong to the Church. On the other hand, they have been in a room no one uses and no one plays with them so they won’t be missed”.
It was so precious watching Tanner think through what would be the wisest decision (“or not” won out with mommy’s prodding).
This was also sweet for me to observe because I know that Tanner learned this method of processing from me. As I have said before, I talk to myself all the time and I often can be heard repeating these self conversations. I also realize that Tanner and I have “should we or not” conversations all the time. For example, “Tanner, should we have tuna for lunch? …..long pause…..Or not?” I didn’t realize that these “choice” conversations would be training him to process through conscience decisions but now that I am witnessing this, I am glad that we discuss decisions about even tuna for lunch. Teaching kids about how to make a decision has life time consequence so I am encouraged to watch Tanner as he learns from this endeavor.
The other day I was listening to a worship DVD and Ty got his hands on the remote. He messed with the remote long enough that he managed to switch DVD’s and luckily for him, Ty’s Baby Praise DVD came on. Tanner said, “Mommy! He is playing his music! How did he get THAT good idea?” LOL.
It is a rare occasion when Tanner say’s “No” to a parent. Almost never happens. This week it caught me off guard when Jim told him to do something and he said “no”. He didn’t really say it in defiance. It was more an issue of Tanner thinking he had a better plan. Either way, he was sent to his room. Ordinarily when Jim and I try to have conversations of import with Tanner, his shyness kicks in and he doesn’t form his thoughts well to respond. You ask him a question and he just looks at you and then he starts crying because he doesn’t know how to put his response together while under pressure. This has been frustrating both Jim and I. When I went into his room and said “Tanner, I think you have something you need to talk to mommy about”, I assumed we were going to have a long session of working through this simple question. I was wrong. Tanner said very clearly “Uh huh. I not say no my parents.” Yipppppeeee!!!! Not only did he GET it but he knew how to articulate it! I was so proud of him.
Last night Tanner was frantic because there was a very large cricket loose in the house. I told Tanner to catch him and flush him down the toilet. He didn’t like the idea of catching that cricket so Jim told him to get a shoe and squish it. Big smile appeared on his face at that suggestion. He got the shoe and squished the cricket and picked up the shoe to show me. He was so pleased with himself for being my hero and ridding our abode of pesky insects. While he is grinning at me though the dead cricket falls off the shoe. Tanner, starts screaming and I start laughing. Mommy flushed the cricket down the toilet.
A little later I was watching a tv show that seemed a bit too scary for Tanner. He insisted that he wasn’t scared. I asked him if he ever had scary dreams after watching something scary. He said “Not dreams – just crickets.” LOL. (In other words, he is not scared of dreams, only resurrected crickets.)
Each morning when Ty awakes, Tanner comes in to tell me. We go together into Ty’s room and Tanner say’s “Mommy. Give Ty his morning kiss”. And then I do. I love this little morning ritual.
Tanner – my life is different because of you. You are my sunshine.