I have a story for you and it isn’t a good one. It is worthy of being canonized though because I may need this later in life when I have to drag up all the things my darling “owes” me for .
Heidi had a terrible week. Seth was being very very four and mama was coming loose at the seams. I won’t tell her story, I’ll let her do that. You can read it here.
I was trying to help her come up with ideas for behavior correcting yesterday morning and as I stood in the shower I was making a mental list of all the things that my boys had done to create mischief. My list was extremely short. Sure, Ty tries to eat everything and pushes every button known to man, but I would not label him destructive. (Sweetie is getting sick and tired of having to reprogram her TV back to English though. This is a tricky thing to do once the language is switched because you have to read a foreign language to follow the reverse directions).
I am sure I have several stories but nothing of huge significance. Tanner dumped a Toby Mac CD in the toilet at about two and drew on his face with a pen once. Nothing significant has ever been abused, broken, cut, written on or otherwise destroyed – well okay – there is the whole Sweetie eye thing but that really was an accident . I knew that as these thoughts were going through my mind it would be a really great time to knock on wood. I didn’t – first mistake.
My brothers had such a lengthy list of misdemeanors. So many things I can think of off the top of my head. Glue on the TV, mustard on the pillowcases, bottle of baby powder all over the room, broken everything, tore down the big playhouse with a bat, a very angry chicken covered in spaghetti, gum in the hair, honey UNDER THE bunk beds (that was a BAD day). Then there are my nieces and nephews who aren’t half bad at mischief either. Noah managed to flood the house before he was 2. He has written on many things with markers including the bathroom walls, sink, and couch not to mention himself. Zane regularly has gum in his hair. Kids being kids. How did I get so lucky and miss these antics though? Happy little sigh relishing in all the good things of my sweet little family.
Last night we went to dinner at Matt and Amanda’s. Amanda and I were chatting chatting chatting and Ty was busy pushing tv buttons like usual. I put him in time out for that a couple of times. At one point Tanner says’s “Mommy Ty has got a yucky diaper you need to change him.”
I stalled because Ty was in time out and I wanted him there a bit longer. Mistake number 2.
A couple minutes later Tanner was calling again. He made the diaper thing sound like an emergency. Not surprising. Kids think most things are an emergency, especially when I am on the phone, and believe me – I RARELY AGREE.
I saunter in to change the child’s diaper only to discover that he had been reaching into his diaper exploring the mess during his monotonous time out. What must he have been thinking at that moment?
“Interesting color? Interesting texture? I can’t leave – I am stuck in timeout with nothing to do. Ho hummmmm…what to do?”
Well my creative little genius decides that finger painting would be a good craft to occupy his busy mind during the long tedious minutes of timeout.
OF ALL TIMES!!!! IN SOMEONE ELSE’S HOME!!!!!! I was shocked, horrified, mortified and several other adjectives. I first had to wash down Matt and Amanda’s wall with Lysol wipes all the while wearing a glazed over look on my face. While I was washing down the wall I called for Jim declaring EMERGENCY. When “I” say it’s an emergency it IS an emergency and Jim DID believe me! I asked Jim to put Ty in the tub and told him NOT TO HEAT THE WATER UP (just for you Grace Gals). Unfortunately, not only does Ty have a high pain tolerance, but he also has very low sensitivity to temperature. When I came in to wash him down he was happily splashing in a frigid bath and eating Amanda’s bar soap. Nice. Jim says’s “Just get him out – he is obviously having too much fun”.
I am cringing imagining Amanda sharing this story with her mom because the house they are currently living in is actually their parents rental while they are trying to sell their house.
Amanda wrote me an email this morning letting me know they had such a fun time with us last night. She is either a great liar or a true friend .
Oh aren’t you just horrified? I called Heidi and shared this story this morning. She no longer feels quite so alone and she agreed that “deeds” like this done in another person’s HOME truly take the cake. This is a contestant I was not aiming to win.
The Mama who is praying her luck did not just change for the worst.