Curious about that title? That should entice you to read on. I have hidden the explanation in my ramblings. Out of sheer orneriness I fully intend to rant today. For crying out loud, I need ONE stinking place where I can say what I want with all the details I choose. 90% of you are speed reading this looking for the point anyhow – don’t think I don’t know it .
I read a book by Dr. Laura recently (saving the details of that for another post). She suggested one should not treat their husband like a girlfriend. I struggle with this. I want Jim to be my girlfriend but I admit, he can’t wear that skin in any fashion. I am mostly grateful for that – as my boy’s would say “Daddy is no Nancy“….but still – sometimes I just want to chatter my heart away and I want him to be very interested in every nuance, thought, emotion, and detail. Instead I get the famous deer in the headlight “please tell me this is almost over” expression. Sadly, the estrogen to testosterone level in this household is unbalanced and that becomes more and more clear to me all the time.
Yesterday I sat down in a chair and starting talking through the many details of the day. Jim had just finished working out and half way through my story he says’s “Doni can you just cut to the chase here? I don’t have the stamina for these details right now.” Now you can pause like I did and just imagine my expression. I followed that up with a typical female retort “Never Mind!”
Feeling injured, I buried my nose back in my book all the while tirading in my head about “the very nerve of him”. Then my wounds are further bruised. (Note to Heidi – The bruised reed (the child) WILL break). Tanner speaks up and says’s very seriously “Mommy. That WAS long. You took forever and ever to say that.” He got the same darned look that his daddy got. My future is looking bleak here isn’t it?
Tanner is behaving more and more male every day. How about this one - he asks me for gatorade. I get it out of the fridge and I can’t get the lid off it. Tanner watches me a moment and then says’s ”It can’t be that hard.” Hummmppph! Really? Okay you little monkey – you try it! He couldn’t get it off either but he refused to offer an apology for his insolence. Figures.
I am getting the baby craving back! We are still not committing to WHEN we get on the list but hopefully soon. I have been talking to the boys about this more lately and have had a few cute responses.
When I was a young girl I dreamed I would someday have a red haired little boy. I always hoped it was prophetic . When I was pregnant with Tanner, (and knowing red hair was in his genes), I prayed that God would gift me with a red head. You know how God answered. Sometimes I feel spoiled. I shared all this with Tanner and asked him if he thought I should ask for a red head again. Who knows? God could think that is a great idea – can’t hurt to ask right? Tanner thought about this and said “No because Noah won’t know which one is Tanner.” Hmmmm….I hadn’t thought of that. Confusing Noah would definitely be a conflict of interest. I have decided to fore go my request in light of this concern.
Recently when putting Ty to bed I was enlightened by the following conversation:
Doni – Ty you are such a treasure to me. What treasure do you think God will give us next?
Ty – I fink a baby sister.
Doni – Oh you do? What would we name her?
Ty – I fink Dora the Explorer.
As usual, I have no intention of writing out dieting details but I did want to share that it amuses me that I need never go to Weight Watchers or the like for accountability because I have my own personal weight trainer – Tanner James. I must make far more food comments than I realize because he watches my intake carefully. Ty suggested Tanner request Panda Express for his birthday. Tanner was quick to let Ty know that “Panda is not on mommy’s diet”. He knows what I will order in each restaurant and he knows where I can’t go. He often asks me what the calorie intake is on foods I am eating and is very pleased that Coke Zero has absolutely no calories. What a great find for his mommy! Often women feel the temptation while dieting to hide wrappers from their husbands. Is it odd that I am hiding from my six year old?
Definition: When a sock starts losing its elasticity and it falls down around the ankle, it is “flumpy”. Tanner cannot tolerate a “flumpy” sock.
Proper Care and Nurturing of Church Vegetation
On Sunday Brooke and I were having a conversation on the front lawn of our church. A friend privately catches our attention and directs us to Noah and Tanner at the far end of the lot. Noah is standing pants down, “watering” the tree. Brooke throws her hands over her face and I laugh. I laugh because it isn’t my child. I should have knocked on the nearest pine slab because next thing I know, Tanner was watering the tree as well. Brooke grabs my arm and drags me to our boys (she is now elated that it is MY problem as well). I figure that her kid started it so it was her job to lecture. Brooke gives this sweet little talk about private versus public choices and what behavior a “gentlemen” adheres to. Noah takes it in with ease. He glances all over the place, never makes eye contact and his little expression is saying “ya ya ya….okay mom…got it..wont’ do it again…got that memorized…can we go play now?” Tanner is quietly whimpering in panic and humiliation. I am covering my giggles. Good glory. Life with boys is never dull.
Because I chose to start Kindergarten in January, we are continuing through most of the summer. It has continued to go very well and I am still enjoying it. Tanner is doing so fabulously and I am so proud of his progress. The other day he was trying to solve some problem and he says’s “Mommy can you help me with this? It’s kinda like my reading. You gotta think in your head. It’s tricky but I got em’ right by myself!” I love the way Tanner processes and articulates. Simply adorable.
Following is a recent example of what Tanner is now reading. It takes us about 15 minutes to get through these stories. He needs some help but more and more, he can get through the better part of a paragraph without any assistance at all.
Taken from “Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons” Lesson 92
The Old Man Did Not Hear Well – Part 2
A girl was talking to an old man. That man did not hear the things she said. The girl got mad and she shouted, “I will be back soon.” The old man went fishing. He came to a lake and sat on a log. Then he started to fish. Soon he got a fish on his line. He took the fish from the lake. The fish said “I have to swim. Can you let me go back in the lake?”. The old man said, “No, I don’t have any cake.” the fish said, “If you let me go I will get big.” Then I will get on your line and you will have a big fish. Let me get big.” The old man said, “No I don’t want a pig. I want a fish.” Then the old man said, “If you are a pig, I will have to let you go.” So the old man let the fish go. He went back home. When he got there, the little girl had something for him. The old man liked the thing the girl gave him. Now the old man can read her notes.
Silly little stories but gives you an idea of what Tanner can now read.
My Little Gamer
Jim shared an xbox story with me that I thought was worth sharing. Jim and Tanner spend late night hours bonding via X-box. Tanner is quite good. Unbeknownst to me, Jim has been allowing Tanner to play “live” with him. (For the record, he turns the sound off in case some one live says something inappropriate). They were playing Halo and as it has been explained to me, one of the objects of this game is to plant bombs in strategic locations. Daddy has taught Tanner the genius of strategy and Tanner is an avid student. Even Jim was impressed when he saw Tanner proactively jump into a jeep, pick up soldiers along the route, and deliver them all to their appointed destination so they could carry out their mission. As each of the soldiers he picked up represented a “live” person, I am sure they would be surprised to realize a 6 year old (5 at the time actually) had been driving them across the map like a pro. LOL.
You should see the frustration small males take out on one another via gaming. I have been paying attention this week to how often Tanner chooses to be on the opposing team to Ty.
Our Little Sawyer
For all you fellow Lost fans…
Jim’s favorite character on Lost is Sawyer. He loves Sawyer’s uncanny ability to chose the most apropo nickname in the moment. We are coining Ty “Our Lil’ Sawyer” as he loves to rename people as well. He has nicknamed his daddy “Slim Jim Jimminy Jim Jim Jim” LOL. This is a combination of a play off his name, his favorite beef jerky snack, and a line from Muppet Treasure Island. Funny kid.
Ty Needs His Mom
Lately Ty has been attached to me like glue. He still doesn’t play with toys (almost at all) – he is far more interested in people. Unless he is involved with an electronic device , he isn’t far from mom. Recently when he was left with Sweetie for an evening, he asked for me all throughout the night and was saying “I want my mom”. Not crying or anything, just letting everyone know that mommy shouldn’t be away for long. I of course loved it. I am writing this down because someday I will love to reflect on the fact that there WAS a point in time where all they needed was a mommy hug.
Did he really need OT?
I finally allowed Ty to play on my laptop. I knew once I did it there would be no turning back. I opened some kid sites and showed him how to use a mouse. He picked it up immediately and impressively. He could navigate like a PRO in hours. One day I walked in and he was using the pad mouse on the laptop! I asked him how he learned to do that and he said “I just did”. He is way better at that mouse than I am. I kept thinking “Kid we had you in occupational therapy for the last 18 months and you can use a pad mouse????” Impressive! He wanted to do a lesson on Tanner’s www.clicknread.com program and I had said no because I didn’t want him to mess up Tanner’s records. The home site was up though and I didn’t close it. Next thing you know I see him doing a lesson. How did he manage that without the password? Easy. He found a sample lesson!!!! I won’t argue if he wants to teach himself to read.
Man with a Plan
Ty is a strategist…just like Daddy. If plan A don’t work, plan B is waiting in the wings. Jim told me the other day that Ty has a reset button and it’s called “No”. Here is a typical Ty conversation.
Ty – Mommy can I have some chocolate milk?
Doni – Not right now.
Ty – No but can I have one after lunch?
Doni – No I’ll probably give you juice.
Ty – No but maybe at dinner?
Doni – Ty I don’t know right now.
Ty – No but maybe in a little minute?
We hear “no but” a zillion times a day. It sounds argumentative to write it but when he says’s it, he comes across more with this feeling:
“What I am trying to say is I don’t think you fully understand my intent here. If you knew how much I wanted chocolate milk and when I wanted it then surely you would agree. Let’s continue this conversation a mite longer and see if we can come closer to a compromise that we both can live with. I am sure you will see the light at any moment.” LOL (I usually don’t)
So he got Daddy’s strategy gene but he got my motor mouth. He talks non stop. Ask anyone (about Ty not me I mean ). Talk talk talk talk talk talk talk. At this very moment I can hear him chattering away to himself in his bed via the baby monitor on my desk. Clearly he doesn’t want to nap so he is keeping himself company. He isn’t a big fan of nap time to begin with. On the way home the other afternoon, he was detailing his unhappiness about nap time but he didn’t want to say anything that sounded blatently defiant - he knew he would be in big trouble for that. Instead, in this sing songy little voice with a big smile (to cover the menace) he sings, “I am not not not not not not not not not not not no way going to take a nap.” And then he repeated that several times. I only needed to say one line. “Bet me”. I said it with a smile too.
“Did you just disobey me?” – said by Ty to me. Ha!!!!!!
“What are YOU doing?” – said by Ty to me when I have caught HIM doing something he wasn’t supposed to. Dead give away to trouble everytime.
“See you later okay dokey” – he means “see you later crocodile” but he forgets
The other day I slipped on my pajama pants and he said “Whooooooaaaaaaa! That was a GREAT slip!” LOL
If you want a treat, get Ty up in the morning. He is the happiest little person and he puts a smile on your face big as the sun. I love to wake him up – even in a solid sleep he wakens cheerfully. He usually says’s something like this when he sees me “HIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii mommy! I love my mommy! Did you have a good nap?” He says’s that Hiiiiiiiiiiiii with a southern drawl to it. I can’t explain it but my grandmother was from the backwoods of Virginia and that’s how she always said it. Wonder if Heidi will get this accent down soon? She is moving to the Langley AFB in Virginia in Sept.
This week Ty has wanted to exercise words like “hate”, “stupid”, “dumb”. I finally told the boys that these words can be used with moderation but only if they are NOT talking about people. We don’t use these words about people (ie. their brother LOL). I was on the phone in my bedroom the other night and Ty comes racing in. The child runs most everywhere he goes. Good thing we put wood down because I think he was going to wear tracks in the carpet from his racing to and fro. So he runs into my room with these wide eyes and says’s breathlessly “Mommy! Do we say idiot?” He was obviously in a hurry for my answer. I said “NO”. He then says’s “AAAAAAWWWWWWW!” and runs back to the playroom. I would imagine that he had a speech in mind using the word idiot that he planned on exercising on his brother but thought he better pass it by me first. He was plenty disappointed that I “TVG-d” him. LOL.
I have had my cell phone on and laying near my pillow for over a week so that I could quickly pick up any emergency calls from Susie. One night last week, a little naughty boy started crank calling me through the night. Normally, I would have turned my phone off but under the circumstances I didn’t want to do that. I tried to reason with the kid after the 4rth phone call but I wasn’t getting anywhere. He was calling from a Blocked ID so I couldn’t call his mom. He couldn’t have been more than 10 years old. He was telling me I was a “foxy mama” and that he really “loved me”. It couldn’t have happened on a worse week either. He called a total of 8 times! Anyhow, I was complaining about this “naughty boy” in the car to my MIL and Ty was eavesdropping.
Ty – Who was that naughty boy?
Doni – I don’t know Ty.
Ty – It was Graham!!!!! (Spoken seriously and with confidence as in “yep – no doubt about it – sigh….it was Graham!”)
Couldn’t wait to call Brooke and tell her that!!!! . Ty and Graham are an interesting combination right now. Don’t worry though – Graham would throw Ty under the bus just as quickly! Sometimes we don’t know what to do with those two! Funny.
I just had to write this word down because Shane and David use this made up word on The Upside Down Show and it has become a family favorite. There are these silly little hand motions that must be associated to the word but (gratefully) you can’t see my performance of this. The boys also do some whole little skit with sounds and motions saying something something “rizka rizka something something splat”. Haven’t caught that episode yet but I need to tape it when I do because they are hysterical copying it. Jim and I had way too much fun watching our boys pretend to be Shane and David this week. (Though Ty said Jim should be Shane because he has no hair LOL – Jim declined the role). Both boys had their pretend remote controls and they were fast forwarding, and rewinding each other. My very favorite was “slow motion” (snow motion as Ty says’s – have I mentioned he says’s “n” for “L” as in “henno” instead of “hello”?). Hysterical. Both boys can put their play in slow motion beautifully. Quite a thing to behold actually.
Tanner and Ty – you will never fully comprehend the depth of your mama’s love. God’s blessings are so full and abundant – the greatest gifts of my life.
****It has taken me all week to write this post. I would write just a little bit each day but never have time to finish. It’s hard for me to post these sweet little sillies right now in light of Landen’s health this week. How I wish that I could post silly stories about the two little buddies. At the same time, I have been reminded of how precious life is…how each moment counts…every day and hour is precious. Because of this, I take the opportunity now to post about the “joys”. Forgive me little one for posting about the blessings of life during your tremendous suffering. It’s also my love for you that compels me to push “publish” now. You remind me to celebrate life and never miss a moment.