The first time I engaged in a low carb diet I made the mistake of watching the movie Chocolat. Through the duration of this flick, I entertained a single thought. How to make a cup of hot chocolate as low carb as possible. There were a few ways to do this but I settled for cocoa powder, vanilla extract, splenda, and evaporated milk. (In retrospect I should have tried coconut milk – much lower carbs). It has been during times such as these that I have come face to face with this reality: I battle food addiction.
There are four times when I find food simply irresistible:
1. When I need comfort. After I gave birth to Tanner, I lost 40 pounds in 3 weeks. My Dr. couldn’t believe it and wondered how that was possible. I assume because I was mostly carrying fluid. After Ty was born though, I gained 40 pounds. Took longer than 3 weeks – I can find a small measure of comfort in that point – but ridiculous weight gain just the same. And why? Because I needed 18 months of comfort eating and then another 18 months to make the decision and commit to dieting. Sigh….
2. When I am socializing. Susie asked me this week how I could be losing weight when every time she is with me I am eating. The answer is simple. I am a social eater. I was brought up in a family that celebrates with food and time together always includes a good measure of food. My worst days of the week to battle temptation is Friday dinner and Sunday lunch – both meals usually spent with family. You know you “got it bad” when you daydream about what will be served at the Wedding Feast of the Lamb. LOL
3. Visual stimulation. I am a sucker for a good recipe book or commercial.
4. Once a month. No further explanation needed for this particular target audience.
*** Also when pregnant trying to fight the continual nauseousness but I don’t predict this will be an issue in my future :).
For the purpose of this light expository, I will center on bullet point number three.
Beyond recipe books and commercials, I also am realizing that I am very attracted to books and movies that center on food. Here are a few I must avoid during dieting seasons.
Way too many yummy desserts spotlighted in this movie. The worst is when the spices and seasonings are highlighted. I sincerely can’t take it! I love spices. LOVE EM’.
The Last Holiday
I like Queen Latifah. Her character feels genuine to me in most of her roles. The Last Holiday is my favorite Queen Latifah movie. She loves to cook and aspires to be a Master Chef. I really could have enjoyed her holiday – believe you me.
We took the boys to see this and I just really fell in love with the little rat who knew just what spices to put in the dishes. Can I get me one of those? I thought about food creations all throughout the movie.
Kristen Heitzmann’s The Rose Legacy
I like this series. Partly because book three reminds me of one of my favorite movies “A Walk in the Clouds” and partly because the main character opens up a small Italian restaurant and discusses her special delicacies with such tenderness and passion that all I can think about it is wrapping cannoli up in little pillows and putting them down for the night.
The media above serves to spark my imagination. I admit it. Food makes me happy. Thinking about new dishes, new combinations of flavors, spices yet untried, slaving over a brand new creation that makes my home smell like heaven must…mmmmmmmmmm that is just good for the soul.
If the price to be paid for this indulgence is 40 plus extra pounds I wonder if it might be just a little bit worth it. As it stands, I have lost over 20 pounds now. Slow going but I am making progress. I have 20 more to go to get back to my wedding day size. (But who really needs to weigh what they did at 21 anyhow…I mean really!)
Between dieting, getting ready for a trip to Boston, and all this talk about grocery shopping, I nearly salivate talking about food. Phone time with Heidi is definitely poor dieting strategy. Like me, she loves to invent and she has a far superior creative genius for it. Her ideas are sure to punish me in the aftermath. Imagine us vacationing together? Someday we would like to take a cruise together. You know they really encourage you to eat on cruise ships because it keeps the seasickness away. Thus lines and lines of buffets with delightful sweet aromas.
Today I find myself battling a split personality disorder while engaging interpersonal negotiations over our upcoming Boston trip. The skinny girl inside keeps warning “You have worked so hard! You want to be comfortable and cute in your new clothes. You don’t want to have taken 10 steps back before you get home. If you bloat in your vacation clothes you will be very sad!” The sassy woman though is saying this “Hang it girlfriend. Enjoy New England.”
Who will win this war? They both have fairly convincing closing arguments therefore the jury is still out.
Must be moving on now. Off to light the BBQ. We bought a brand new smoker recently and I am anxious to try out hamburgers over the charcoal flames. Nothing beats cheeseburgers cooked over charcoal. I think I could use some prayer support.
Post Script: The picture of me in the dress above was taken this week. I was modeling my Boston attire to email to Heidi. We were discussing whether or not this is an appropriate dress to wear to a day time Boston wedding. From what I hear, it is bold and bright for Boston’s more conservative fashion climate, but I really like the dress. Sheeeshhhh….I still can’t decide. Notice I left plenty of room for Boston food going for the empire waistline LOL. A dummy I am not (usually) 😉