Scene:? Sitting at kitchen table eating with three kids.? Children keep handing me small Easter eggs filled with play dough so that I will unwrap all the packaging (which was a pain).
Me:? (After being handed the third egg)? Hey guys!? This is just what I wanted to be doing right now!
Ty:? Oh Mommy!? There are lots more in this drawer!? Look!? I’ll get you some more!
Tanner:? (Cracking up!)? That was a joke Ty!
Me:? Ty when I said “this is just what I wanted to be doing right now” I was being sarcastic.? That means that I meant I do NOT want to do this right now.
Ty:? But mommy YOU SAID it IS what you want to do right now.
He often doesn’t pick up on these little social cues.?
We played a game at dinner last night “Whoonu” (spelling?).? Ty’s favorite.? Jim does not like playing this game with Ty because Jim likes to win and Ty kills his strategy.?? The game is played by giving each player (except one) four cards.? Each player narrows down the four cards to two cards and then 3 players give their two cards to the 4rth player for a total of six.? The 4rth player has six numbered chips (1 through 6) and has to rank the cards from favorite to least favorite.? The goal is to make good guesses on what someone else would like so that you get all the high point chips.
The problem with playing games with Ty though (any games) is that his agenda is never to win.? He plays for the fun of the moment and no further.?? Here is an example scenario.? Let’s say I have the following 4 cards:? Flowers, Striped Pajamas, Chicken, and Fuzzy Mustache.?? The fourth player is Ty so I have to pick the two I think he would rank the highest.? I pick striped pajamas and fuzzy mustache.? Jim is excited because he got XBOX and Nintendo DSI and just KNEW that Ty would rank those highest.
Ty sorts through his cards and is thrilled with XBOX and Nintendo DSI but then…he sees fuzzy mustache and he laughs and laughs and laughs.? Fuzzy mustache gets top rating.? I giggle because I account for Ty’s wild card choices (Top rating has gone to things like “beards” and “running toilets”).? Jim is aggravated convinced the point should have been his.?
When it is Ty’s turn to choose for Jim, you can expect the following.? Ty will get the following 4 cards: “high heels”, “onion soup”, “computers” and “fast cars”.? What will he choose?? Onion soup and high heels.? Giggling the whole time.? He cannot get the concept of choosing what the other person would like.? I am convinced that he has more fun than all the rest of us though.? By the way, he NEVER wins this game and he ALWAYS requests it.
I love the way Ty lives life.? He finds joy in the moment.? He doesn’t concern himself with outcomes.? He judges the experience, not by wins or losses, but by how much fun he had playing the game.? I know that is a common expression? but Ty is the only one I know that actually LIVES like that – every day.? Gotta love it.