Sleeping Beauty

March 27, 2008

Happy Birthday to me – Tori slept seven straight hours last night! I fed her at 11:00 and she didn’t wake up for another feeding until 6:00 AM. The night before she did a 5.5 hour stretch. This is probably a fluke but I’ll take it. Tanner wasn’t sleeping through the night until he was 6 months old (ouch) but Ty was about 2 months corrected (which technically was also 6 months LOL). Maybe Tori will beat them both? Wouldn’t THAT be nice? I don’t consider it sleeping through the night until they hit a 9 hour stretch though because mommy needs 9 hours so it won’t count til then. Unfortunately, because I was working on these pictures…I didn’t get the benefit of those 7 hours but I enjoyed the quiet time all the same.

Sometimes in photography you capture something beautiful but it doesn’t reflect truth. Other times though, the REASON the photo is beautiful is because you did – you captured the very essence of a person. I have not been able to stop looking at these two pictures of Tori because they are just sooooo Tori when she sleeps. They really reflect the perfect little princess that I have the blessing to stare at every day. Though I love her Easter dress pictures, something about these two turned out to be my favorite. I love the way her hair stands on end beneath that bow band – these photos also reflect the hair challenge LOL. Something about Tori has been reminding me of my mom. I hesitated to say that but then my mom said it too and I knew it wasn’t just me. Her eye shape is like my mom’s for one thing. (Did I already post that – feeling de ja vuish?). I really see my mom in these pictures. Jim would say we see what we want to. Maybe we just see our favorite faces in those we love. Sweetie and Tori top the list of my favorite female faces so that isn’t surprising.

Okay…I know what you are thinking. How in the world am I having time to do these pictures and post them near daily. Well….first of all…I am not doing this everyday. When I get a good chunk of time, either because Jim has volunteered his assistance or I am staying up way too late or both…I try to get several done at a time. Example…last night I did 5. That means you now know you have at least 5 more daily pictures in a row coming. :) I had a GOOD time last night and felt inspired so I was happy with my end products. Sometimes the pictures themselves inspire me and that is what happened last night so they came together fast. Also, the constant interuption of feeding Tori every hour and a half (because by the time she finishes her bottle, she wants another one 1.5 hours later)…has gifted me with quiet time. I can sit at the computer and feed her and still manage to do a little bit. I can’t type much but I am getting good at short cuts and that helps. :)

Ohhhhhh Tyyyyyyyyy!!!

I seriously don’t know what to do with my little buddy. Yesterday was again, one of those days. Sweetie thinks it is because I am so preoccupied with Tori that my eyes aren’t catching his mischievous behavior as quick as usual so it is all stock piling. He was caught handling the remotes…several times…Tanner’s PCP…touching the DVD player, sneaking and eating Easter candy twice, getting the grapes out and spilling them all over the front room….sigh.

At one point I was heading towards mama meltdown. He was on a chair trying to get to the remote in his playroom. Now this might seem like a minor deal but the issue is that it is against house rules and he continually breaks it. There are three reasons why Ty may not use our remotes. 1. He quickly reprograms things and only he knows how to undo it – not real convenient for me and I really appreciate watching TV in English. 2. We are afraid he is going to delete our scheduled DVR recordings. 3. He needs to learn to sit and watch a show. It is his attention issues that drive him to the remote because of his need to interact with the tv. Instead of just sitting and watching, he is forwarding to favorite clips and watching them over and over or simply channel surfing without watching anything.

So….when I found him standing on the chair I demanded that he get down, SIT in the game chair IMMEDIATELY and does not even consider getting up! The usual mom tirade. I walk out of the room close to tears because I don’t understand why I can’t get him to follow through on this one rule that is a daily battle for us. Usually I start his movie for him and don’t make him sit through previews. I didn’t do that this time and the previews were long. About 10 minutes later I was walking down the hall…( I cried when I shared this with Sweetie and Jim) and I hear Ty sitting in that chair talking to himself. He is watching the previews (that are STILL going on) and he is repeating over and over “Just sit right here. It will start in a minute. It’s going to be on in just a minute.” To listen to him talk to himself like this over and over broke my heart. He is not an intentionally defiant kid but he has such a hard time resisting these specific impulses. Some of you are probably thinking that what I just described sounds a bit like autism. It is. Keep in mind that Ty does have a spectrum disorder which is on the lower end of the autism scale. He does not have autism but he does have SPD (sensory processing disorder). I think this is what makes it so difficult for him to center. All he could think of was interacting with that TV and when he can’t touch a button, and can only sit there and watch it – he isn’t “fed”. It isn’t stimulating enough for him. I am getting choked up again writing about this. Ty is so smart and most people would just never see these battles he has to fight. How in the world do I help him with this? Having to pray about it. It hurts my heart to have to be so tough on him with things I KNOW are a huge struggle for him but it is imperative that he learns for his life time good. God gifted him with a one in a million personality though and I know that God has a plan for His life and I pray Ty’s struggles today will serve to work for his good in the future. I was talking to a friend tonight who I think is ADHD (and I told her that) :). I think she has thrived BECAUSE of it. Her life has required her to have 10 times the energy of the average woman and because she can’t sit still for anything…she is almost always in task mode. She gets more done than anyone I know and her daily accomplishments make my head spin. For her sake, I wish she could rest but I am also grateful that her “hyperactivity” has served to benefit her in more ways than I could write about it. Let it be so for my Ty.

Jim is taking me on a date tonight! Woohooo! Both grandma’s are babysitting. I think I want Olive Garden.

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6 Responses to “Sleeping Beauty”

  1. heidi jo says:

    beautiful princess. :)

    those are heavy thoughts about ty on your birthday… but i do believe that little survivor thriver will let God help him to channel those things into beauty. i just know it. :) it is precious that he was working SO hard to try to obey and be patient – that alone is HUGE – many children wouldn’t have had such a desire to try to do what was right. bless his heart for that!!!

    congratulations on the date night… very nice. ENJOY! happy birthday sister. loving you…

  2. susie says:

    Another sweet picture, I just cannot get enough.
    As for Mr. Ty, he IS a wonderful litle boy and he IS going to become wonderful with anything he sets out to do in life.
    I hear your frustrations and it sounds like you are doing all that you can as a parent. I was talking to Ron not to long ago about some issues with Landen always feeling the need to talk to himself, spin in circles, or laugh out loud when nothing is that funny. My greatest moments is his fear being buckled into a carseat, he is so scared of being strapped down or in a tight place and everytime we go somewhere we spent the first 15 minutes listening to him SCREAM and throw himself around. There is nothing we can offer him or do to help comfort him. I was worried about it being a after effect from seizures and his strokes, but Ron was quick to remind me that although some of it could be post seizure effects, he was also a mirco-preemie.Duh! Somethimes I just forget all that NICU stuff and all of the warnings we got. The “real” Landen and everything he was blessed with has only been around a short time, so as off as it sounds, I am glad to see you posting about Ty’s issues. I am always so worried what damage may have been caused while he was sick, but knowing that TY and Landen are both former micro-preemies and are both having some of the same issues helps me feel comforted.
    But, what do we do with the over aggressive behavior?? Still a question for both of us? If it is a sensory issue that they need to complete themselfs, how do we cope with it, yet still have a heart for something they just need? Do we lean towards the preemie issue for years to come or except them to out grow things way to fast when they are healthy and not struggling anymore? I don’t have any great answer, but if it helps, please know tht I have just began having many of these days where I felt those mama meltdowns coming on. I hear every word you just posted.
    Hey I just thought this would be a great reason for us to get together, I am sure with my strong will and your great wisdom we could work out a plan that might just work :)
    So with the better news, I hope you have a great birthday and enjoy every minute of your date tonight. I am so happy to hear you are going to get a little break, I think it is soooo important for every mother to get a little free time. I am sure both grandma’s will have a blast with the kids.

  3. Denise Coleman says:

    Hi Doni – Happy Birthday to you!

    i love love love this set of pictures of Tori too! Thought maybe I could offer a possible solution to your challenge with Ty and remotes. I have a weemote for my boys that they can use that only goes to their channels and doesn’t allow them to mess with the programming of the remote or tv :) A frustration I can share with you. We have had ours for 7 years (we got it when my first son was 1 1/2) and my baby(#3) now almost 5 uses it and loves it as we too won’t allow him to touch ours. In looking up the website for you, I found they actually have another one made for dvr’s etc now as well. Just sharing an option that you might want to explore to help you and Ty :) here’s the site Good luck to you!

    And I fully believe God has wonderful things planned for Ty he is a special little boy who has stole my (internet)heart.

  4. shauna says:

    I hope you had a happy birthday Doni! I hear your heart about Ty. God blessed you with him, and God blessed Ty with you and Jim, parenting is never easy – especially when our children have special struggles, but your love for all of your children shows even in the words you write. I know you are doing a great job!


  5. heidi jo says:

    i remember doni telling me some time ago that she had a weemote.. wonder if they still use it or if not, why? hmmmm.

  6. Doni says:

    Actually we DO have a weemote and I love it. We bought it for Tanner when he was two and it has been wonderful. The problem is Tanner is old enough for the real remote and we aren’t good at keeping it out of Ty’s reach so he manages to get his hands on or climbs on a chair to get it. If I were better at keeping the adult remote out of reach that would help matters.

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